For many centuries white privilege has allowed white people to feel entitled to police the reactions and words of People of Color. We are told to be quiet, have no opinions and don’t speak passionately about our dislikes. The truth is anytime we speak out against white structures and systems, we face backlash from white women; even those claiming to be allies. Some white women who think they are “progressive,” hide behind the word as if it were a mask that never reveals the truth to who they are. White systems benefit white people and if a white person isn’t speaking out against white systems they are complicit to the system of white supremacy. After a recent reaction I had at an anti-racism training, I had made the comment that I was fed up with individuals. As a leader in the space, was this outburst professional? After I thought about it, no it wasn’t, according to white standards. However, the reaction was based on observing bad behavior of a room full of people who were in an anti-racism training. A few weeks later the comment and reaction would be brought back up as a lesson. The lesson as to why it is always important for Women of Color to use our voices and remain unapologetic in our reactions. In a discussion I had, the words “complaining” and “leading” were used in one sentence as a form of critique to my words and reaction. This is where the policing of my words and actions became real to me.

The lesson I learned was a reminder that white women will always support white systems when it works for them. The hard truths coming out of my mouth is often deemed as “complaining” instead of as critiquing the constant situation I am in that is grossly centered around white individuals who have and actively exercise their white privilege. Calling out the actions of white people or being critical of how whiteness operates is not in good judgement to white women, (again) even those who claim to be allies. The use of the word “complaining” was a demeaning way to insult my way of truth-telling. In the past, I have said, “it is difficult to hear the truth but at times, telling the truth comes with a cost.” To “call out” is to bring awareness to the truth that is existing, and that truth is how white systems and white supremacy continues to be held high. To complain is to have something to say about something one doesn’t find satisfying. As a leader, who is a Woman of Color and passionate about what I do and the people I live in community with, I am told how to exist, what white people don’t want to see, and what they don’t want to hear. If I need to complain, then that is my complaint. And truth be told, regardless of how my actions and words are criminalized, I will continue to critique white spaces and remain unapologetic about my assessments and observations.